When it Falls Through

I like to plan things.  I feel most secure in a well laid out plan.  It takes away the guess work and ensures I know what to expect.  This is comforting to me.  It’s also boring.  In the past couple of years I have been able to step away from “having” to plan.  I have become more comfortable with going with the flow and just letting things happen.  I have even begun to enjoy it.  But one thing I am not sure how to respond to anymore is when plans fall through.

In the past, if a plan fell through I would just make it happen some other way (it being the objective, whatever it is).  This can be good.  My bosses have definitely seemed to appreciate it.  It means I get stuff done!  But lately when a plan is in the works (specifically a personal plan) and then utterly falls apart, I feel as though I am at a complete loss for what to do.  I can either plan around the thing that fell through or I can just let it be.  But now when I plan around something that fell through I feel as though I am being a little ‘g’ god and making something happen that maybe wasn’t meant to be.  But letting go of the objective is not an easy option for me either.  Especially when it isn’t something I have to do but rather something I want to do.

So what to do?    Please leave copious wise comments on this post to help me figure it out.  Especially you Ten-weed.  Your recent days of silence on my blog are over! Bwahahahahaha!



12 Responses to “When it Falls Through”

  1. fishclamor Says:

    dear pink, well, i am not the ten weed, but i am responsible for many plans utterly falling through because i have to live completely spontaneously. this has always been true because i never know how i’m going to feel. you may not know this but the fishies are afraid to leave the bowl in general, and can only really do it if they’re feeling good and healthy in other ways, which is, especially lately, doubtful.

    so speaking from the completely other side of the coin, i am so sorry you are struggling with this as i struggle with the opposite problem!

    i can understand, i think, your frustration. especially with recent episodes that involved carefully co-ordinated screw-ups on all sides except yours–communication confusion, communication failures, someone sleeping all day the day before and failing to complete the plans and no-one knowing enough about the fishies to help them…and why should you have to, anyway? i can understand. i don’t have any words of wisdom, but i sure do love to hang out with you when we can work it out, and

    ten weed, i’m just mortified. i was dying to see you, too!

    maybe plans can still be made with your more difficult friends, pink, if we take into account their limitations. actually, those are my words of wisdom for almost any relationship. it’s understanding the limitations that is hardest, i think. for example, in the fishies world, we have a crab who walks sideways and we can’t understand why he would do that and we don’t know what to do about planning decorations for a party. i mean, is he blind and can only see in one funny direction? or are his legs just funny? we try to plan parties, but don’t know whether it’s seeing games that are out or walking games that are out.

    the fishies love you and hope you will be happy with them in spite of their massive current limitations!

    bye bye love fc

  2. pinkhammer Says:

    It’s pretty wild to me the diverse spectrum of us peoples in the world. I appreciate you! You have been one of the ones that has helped me become less structured which has helped me enjoy life more. Thank you for that. And yes, plans can still be made with those who aren’t “planners” per say, but I wouldn’t call them difficult…just different. For those who aren’t planners I am probably difficult for them! : )

    Just remember, I’m here for you. ; )

    – Pink!

  3. fishclamor Says:

    shhhh! they’re praying! but can i have a, um, date?

    love, clamor

  4. fishclamor Says:

    ps. you are not difficult for me. you are wonderful. if you didn’t call me up to do stuff and make plans for five minutes from now, well, life in the fishbowl would not be nearly as much fun!

    love, fish

  5. pinkhammer Says:

    Aww shucks. You wanna go on a date with me??? *blushes* ; )

    Glad I’m not difficult though I sincerely find that hard to believe! I like your fishbowl. There is a lot of freedom within it even though that seems counter-intuitive. Where else can you paint on the top of your table? : )

  6. fishclamor Says:

    yeah it is so cool the way the coloring just rinses off into the bowl!

  7. tenaciousweed Says:

    So I keep thinking about your post. It’s hard, you know. It is good to want to incorporate what you wish to do into what you do as a valid and energizing life moment. God’s middle name is not Scrooge, and I believe that he paid a big price for us to be able to love ourselves powerfully & wonderfully through him, just as we love others powerfully & wonderfully through him. Planning a thing to make you smile along the way is not bad. If taken to extreme, sure.

    And the same goes for dancing in my book. Maybe it has to do with reevaluating God’s will in a thing, but perhaps finding the need to readjust may just involve a lot of people bumping around down here with free wills rocking all over the seas & God’s using it to give you an opportunity to know more of you in the process.

    So, I love order (yeah, in a very venti kind of way), and in the past few years I have learned to laugh with the magic of serendipity & spontaneity. It has a place. A wonderful place of lights, magic and dancing.

    That said, I’m afraid I’m the other pea in your pod on this one. With loose ends & things that are supposed to magically fall into place, I get so stressed that I develop knots in my shoulders and at the base of my skull to go with the shooting pains that dance between my shoulder blades. Maybe it’s because when the odorous goes flinging, I usually end up in the vicinity and completely unsure of how to proceed. LOL!

    Maybe it’s because I know loose ends can hurt, whether they were meant to hurt or not, even if you know in your deepest of guts that only love is intended. I’ve made the face of not understanding why & I’ve watched my friends & children make the face of not understanding, too.

    Maybe there is a tendency to think that we have to be either stage builders or dancers, so when one of the “labels” gets slapped on our bacon, we get stuck (in our own thinking framework as well as the one the world assigns us). Dancers can build beautiful stages. Likewise, builders have beautiful dances for the stage, too, and, contrary to popular assumption, they are not in straight lines across the parquet tiles. (Could be b/c they don’t like to step on the black ones, or because they’re so taken by the freedom that they don’t have to watch their feet for a few amazing moments.)

    I can’t wait to see what kinds of stuff you think about when you’re 85.

  8. tenaciousweed Says:


    sorry i wrote a novella on your blog

  9. fishclamor Says:

    tenweed i want to read your poems. still. and always. give me a thin little folder someday?

    –the dancing fish

  10. Heather Somervail Says:

    threw out my poetry binders about five years ago. more of a prose girl these days. poetry gets to play amidst the lines;-)

  11. fishclamor Says:

    hmmmm. tenweed, tis true that your poetry gets to play amidst the lines. but i find myself wanting to grab up images and put them together. i find myself wanting to break your lines.

    my friend tom wrote some of my finest poems that way!

    sorry to hear you threw out your binders. whatever happened must have been sad. for the world to miss your words, though it may have been happy for you!


    dancing fish. can i be a dancing fish all day? ;-)

  12. pinkhammer Says:

    Yes! You can be a dancing fish all day! Dance away my fishy friend! : )

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