It’s been a while hasn’t it.  For some reason I have not been up for blogging lately.  I started back to work after a week and a half of being out after the toe surgery.  It was a dreadful day.  In the time I was off I truly felt a peace with the world.  I was reading and writing.  I was interacting with people about reading and writing.  I wrote my first sermon.  I prepared to lead my very first worship service.  It was wonderful.  I thought to myself, “This is what it means to be me.”  And then I couldn’t be me anymore.  I had to go back to my 8-5, task oriented, non-creative job. And my soul was in shock and rebellion from this.  That and my toe hurt after being up on it most of the day. 

Friday was a bit better.  And then the weekend was awesome.  I got to preach for the first time.  I am planning on blogging about that more specifically later, but suffice to say it was an awesome experience.

And then I went to my 8-5, task oriented, non-creative job.  But I was a bit more content because God confirmed some things for me when I preached.  But again, more on that later.

There have been other things going on in life lately.  For one I have been very tired.  This is probably partially due to the surgery but I think it is mostly due to the weather.  The short days are really messing with me.  I am also the lead person for Operation Christmas Child at my church his year.  Fun stuff.  I love OCC.  And this week and next I am facilitating my Sunday morning Bible study.  I like all the stuff but it leaves me feeling lonely.  I feel as though I have community but then I feel as though I don’t.  Things like Facebook and Twitter are nice, but I feel as though they provide only the illusion of community instead of the reality.  I feel linked up to many, but connected to so few.  That said, I have two friends now that I can have over and still stay in my PJs.  How cool is that?  I love it.

It is sad to me that  have gotten more calls from political telemarketers than anyone else.  Truth be known, more than everyone else combined.  I took a nap after work today to avoid throwing myself a pity party, but it is hard.  Then one of my PJ friendscameover and that was nice because I didn’t have to entertain.  I just got to be me with someone else in the room.  It was really nice.  And she made me cheesy rice and brought me chocolate.

I also got information on two schools in Jerusalem that I am going to look into in hopes of going there this summer.  Another friend of mine threw out the dea of a kibbutz so I am going to look into that as well.

I found out I will get to go to my Aunt and Uncle’s for Thanksgiving which is good.  My mom’s b-day is the day before so it will be good to see her for sure.

I am finally getting organized at work.  After a year of trying to figure everything out without having a lot to go on, I am finally organizing it all.  It’ quite amazing really.  I have a new boss now and he is pretty awesome and has made work much less stressful.  I am thankful for that.  I only hope that his ledership is a gift from God to help me stay in this place as long as I am supposed to.  But I am really wondering how long that is going to be.  Maybe it’s much shorter than I think.  Who knows.

Been thinking a lot lately about LGBT “issues” to include ordination of LGBT people.  I am reading a book called “A Time to Embrace” by William Stacy Johnson.  I also want to read Jack Rogers’ “Jesus, The Bible, And Homosexuality” and maybe “The Children are Free” by Rev. Jeff Miner and John Tyler (I think).  It seems to me that since i am seeking ordination in PC(USA) I should seek to understand both sides of the issues which for me means learning much more about those who support ordination of LGBT people since my faith journey was predominantly fundamental until about a year and a half ago.

I have had a few folks send me messages on Facebook to ask me what I am up to lately.  When I reply “working on my M-div” I seem to be getting silence.  It irks me that fundies think if they don’t agree with something ignoring it will be helpful.  Maybe I’m reading too much into it.  Or maybe they are rallying the troops to attack from all sides.  Maybe the are all praying for me in hopes that I will repent of my wickedness and turn from my wicked ways.  If they are, I both appreciate it and am annoyed by it.  *shrug*

In other news, I voted via absentee ballot the other day.  Decided to do that due to the toe surgery.  I am now officially an Obama Mama as Carol put it.  : )

Well, I guess that’s all for now.  Lots of ramblings, but hey…it’s something.


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10 Responses to “Hello”

  1. EJ Says:

    Hey There!

    I missed the bit about toe surgery. Sorry I haven’t inquired as to how you are doing. I’m glad the preaching bit went well for you and was affirming. It is always helpful for God to give a bit of emotional, as well as outside, nudging went trying to confirm personal things. For some reason, God doesn’t always do this. So, YAY when it happens.

    As for the fundy issue. You know. I have quite a few “Fun” friends myself. And while it may be irksome for them to say nothing. It actually is not such a bad thing. The silent treatment is OK. Who knows what they are wrestling with? Some totally don’t get it, as it goes against their interpretation of scripture. Some know it goes against their interpretation but perhaps can still see the call to you and cannot figure out how on the earth to deal with that.

    What I am about ready to say is general, not specific, and is an observation, not a judgment. I love my fundy friends because they have SO many things that many mainline denominations lack. But what the mainline denominations encourage and independent denominations are lacking in? A solid, consistent, working theology that is also grounded in the Bible. Why is that necessary? Well, its simple really. Because the Bible is made up of so many different people’s writings, there are quite a few inconsistencies. Unless God is a flibberdigibbit, which I have never been able to accept, there needs to be some thinking of what to do with these consistencies. After all, is it — “An eye for an eye?” or “Do unto others?” Both are there. Both say very different things. What do we do with that? And WHY do ascribe to one or the other?

    OH. And I will just say something from my experience in the heart of Bible country (Nashville). I spent some serious time in the Christian Music Industry, surrounded by many fundamentalists and evangelicals — all very different than myself. Arguing NEVER works. Because they aren’t taught to think like I was taught to think. For me, it wasn’t just — What next? But Why? How? What’s that about? What do I do with that?

    Building respectable conversation based on a good relationship, helping to maintain the trueness that one person is not smarter nor better than the other? That is the only way we were able to have the FAITH talk. I made the first mistake. It was bad and harming. Then the second happened and we were both changed for the better, no matter whom it was.

  2. pinkhammer Says:

    Thanks for your thoughts, EJ. I totally agree with you. In that I have come from the fundie background I still remember the mental acrobatics I went through in tying to resolved my call versus how I previously interpretted scripture. I guess I just wish there was the conversation instead of the silence. It’s kinda depressing. Part of it is also that some of these folks played a huge part in my spiritual growth in college and so it’s a bit heartbreaking that they think I am falling away when in reality I am so much closer to what God has called me to be. When I told my best friend that I felt called to be a minister and thought the verses used to say that was “unbiblical” were misinterpreted she said, “So do you still believe in Jesus?” She was serious. And bless her heart, she was concerned for my salvation and my walk with Christ. But oh the heartbreak.

  3. Bruce Reyes-Chow Says:

    Thanks for the updates. While we are just “linked” in a few places, reflections like this help me and others to stay reminded of the breadth of life and ministry realities. Thank you!

  4. pinkhammer Says:

    Thanks for stopping by, Bruce. And glad my ramblings were helpful. Hope all is well over there in CA. : )

  5. fishclamor Says:

    you’re working on you M.Div.? that is SO COOL. my Ph.D. hood is pretty cool and mc wanted to play with it today. just think how cool your M.Div. hood will be, and anyone who doesn’t get thrilled about your journey doesn’t know one single thing about academic fashion.

    oh my god i just cracked myself up. was supposed to take little fish to play with other mommies & fishies today but i slept through it all. daddy and little fish went to the waffle home for breakfast. i think we should play with little fish today. you think?

    my best friend i think does not like my prints. i sent them to her, she didn’t say a thing! what does that mean????? i think you and heather like them. hmmmmm. well maybe she’s busy.

    i got your mail, going to try to figure out what it means now!

    bye love fish

  6. pinkhammer Says:

    Yes…let’s play with the little fish today and make beautiful prints. That would be lovely.

  7. fishclamor Says:

    oops i left in a name. can you edit it out? i don’t know if little fish will make prints but we’ll just play it by oar. was fun to hang out last night!

  8. sarahbuildsbridges Says:

    so what do you think of stacy’s (william stacy johnson’s) book? that came out of some work he did when we were serving on the task force together. i’ll be interesting to hear how your thoughts are unfolding.

    i never had toe surgery, but i broke my toe a few years ago and… ow… long time before i felt quite right again.

    it is hard to stay in a particular world when you know you’re being called into something else and when you’re in the midst of working towards pursuing that call. blessings as you navigate your unfolding formation for ministry and your ongoing work commitments.

  9. pinkhammer Says:

    So far I have only read the intro and the first chapter. I think I will get the most out of the chapters to follow based on how he has layed out the format of th book. In general I need more exegetical/theological info. I am (finally) hearing what is being said, but I need more info on the “why” if that makes sense. I hope to blog about it once I have fiished it…maybe I should do more on this one…hmmmm…we will see. : ) And thank you for the blessings!

  10. fishclamor Says:

    right on, sister sarahbuildsbridges: being where you know you’re not supposed to be is really almost physically dangerous as far as i know from my own life. so take good care of yourself, pink, while you work your way out of where you are and on to the place you belong!

    i wish i knew the book, but God has other plans for my time right this minute ;-)

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