today

Today has been a hard day.  I’m not sure exactly what made it hard except maybe that I think God is bringing me to a point where I have to deal with these things called emotions.  I am starting to wonder if an anti-depressant would be helpful but I kinda feel like that’s just a cop out.  I have worked very hard my whole life to maintain control.  It’s the only security I had.  The walls are coming down now.  I am glad for that, but it is very overwhelming and the dust in the air from the wall falling makes it hard to see what God is up to.  If I am honest with myself, I am not always sure God is even there.

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