Anxious and Nervous

As today has progressed, I have felt more and more anxious and nervous.  I meet with the CPM tomorrow morning.  I don’t feel ready.  In the Navy, I had many different boards I had to pass that were face to face interactions with higher ranking officers asking me all kinds of questions about various topics.  I thought this would feel similar to those boards, but it feels much different.  I have never seen these people in my life.  They are not asking me about facts or judgement calls or hypotheticals.  They are asking me about me.  They are asking me about subjective things that can’t be defined in neat little boxes.  They will be asking me about my call to ministry.  I cannot justify these things to them.  I guess that’s part of the problem…I don’t need to justify anything.  I just need to tell my story.  I keep wondering if I’ll be able to answer their questions.  I’m not freaking out or anything, folks.  I am hoping it will go well.  I think it will go well.  But there is a distinct possibility that they may not approve my endorsement.  I think I am prepared for that.  I would probably be sad, frustrated, and discouraged, but I would accept it and continue what I’m doing until God shifts my gaze or straightens my path. soli Deo gloria


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3 Responses to “Anxious and Nervous”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Somehow I missed this post, although I was sure I checked your blog yesterday. hmm….losing my mind. :) — well anyway, your meeting must be this morning so GOOD LUCK! I’ll be interested to hear how it goes. A lot of people seem to have this adversarial relationship with their CPM liaison groups but I’ve never found that to be true. Yes, they can ask really tough questions (but not usually when you’re coming up for Inquirer) but my group has always been nice while they’re asking those tough questions! lol… anyway, good luck.

  2. Lorraine Says:

    Aaak…! That “anonymous” above is me. Forgot to fill in the “name” part. sigh… off to get some more coffee now. :p

  3. pinkhammer Says:

    Hello Lorraine : ) The meeting went well. I am now officially an inquirer. The folks on the committee were nice, helpful, and seemed very genuine. I am relieved! : )

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