Torn

I think I am scared of commitment rigt now.  This is a strange thing because I have not had this come up before.  While I was in the Navy I had way too much going on.  I had no boundaries in my life and always did what I thought I “should” do which was everything I was asked.  That’s all changed in the past year.  I have been practicing my “no” quite a bit.  It has been nice.  But now that I really want to say yes to things I am having a hard time doing that.  I am afraid that I am going to take on too much again.  I am afraid I am going to get overwhelmed and start to drown in requirements and commitments.  I am afraid I am going to fail.  But I am going CRAZY!  I need to be involved in some kind of ministry and soon!  I have said yes to getting involved in youth group but that shifts gears in the summer and slows down quite a bit.  *sigh*  I don’t know how God does it because I sure annoy the crap out of myelf sometimes.

On another note, I went to a wedding tonight.  I wasn’t sure how it was going to pan out becauses literally the only person I knew there was the bride and she had quite a few other things on her mind.  Well, it went well.  While I still desire to get married one day, this desire no longer consumes me.  Ever since I have felt God’s call on my life this desire, while ever present, is not as prominent in my mind.  It’s kinda neat.  : )  Cheers to the happy couple, A & R!

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