Never did I think that when I asked God to help me be more patient that he would do that largely by trying to teach me to be more patient with myself. It is an interesting phenomenon and one I can say I am not really enjoying very much. I don’t know who could say they enjoyed being taught to be more patient so maybe that’s stating the obvious. Thing is I don’t even see it as being impatient with myself until I have worked myself up over something I haven’t done quite right or quick enough. Case in point, I worked my tail off and missed many hours of sleep to get a paper in on time via an online submission system only to find out today that I uploaded the wrong file. So now it’s late. Great. Frankly tat ticks me off quite a bit and I am finding it hard to not be mad at myself. What a sophmoric thing to do. It’s ony one paper…this alone will not make me fail the class. If I don’t get an A because of this, I will not be upset or mad. Honestly. But what a stupid move!
Archive for May, 2008
I am realizing that part of the reason writing has been so laborious for me lately is that I am really struggling with what my own thoughts are about some of this stuff I am learning about. When does a thought become my own? How can I break away from the desire to footnote everything? It’s really making me crazy.
One bite at a time! What I want to know is who would really eat an elephant?
Anyway, the paper is not yet finished so it will be another late night. I ended up not being granted the extension for the leadership presentation I had to do so I stayed up until 2am doing that. Class was tonight and the presentation is coplete. Not sure what my grade will look like…I’m praying for grace.
Oh…and I got the dishes done. It’s amazing how much better I feel when the counter is clean. Theological method here I come!
So I need to vent. I have been working on school work almost this whole weekend and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. I have a paper due on the theological method in my systematic theology class that I haven’t started yet, a presentation that I am supposed to have ready by tomorrow morning that I’m not going to be able to get done, an entire book that is supposed to be read by class tomorrow night that isn’t going to happen, and a list of reading for my systematics class that I haven’t even begun. Oh, and I really need to do laundry but I have class tomorrow night which means I have to wait until Wednesday at the earliest. The dishes in my sink would stay there until they rusted away except they are really nice pots and it will eventually drive me crazy to the point where I will give up the 15 minutes of sleep to do them and be done with it. Coffee’s done. Fill’er up.
He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.