I spoke this morning at church about my call to ministry. If you’d like to see what I said, go here. Well, I am happy to say that things went well. I was more than a little nervous, but not overwhelmingly so. I didn’t get nervous until service started and then when I put the microphone on it got a bit worse. And you can’t take deep breaths with a microphone on because they pick up EVERYTHING!!!
When I stood up and headed to the the little podium (we don’t use the pulpit or lecturn during our contemporary services), I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about all those faces looking back at me. I thought I was going to be overwhelmed. But I wasn’t. I think it was actually kind of comforting in a way. They wanted to hear what I had to say. Sure, that is probably not true of everyone, but there were expectant faces in thr crown. No one stood out really…just faces with eyes focusing on me waiting for me to speak. To speak. I like speaking. And I differentiate that from just talking. Talking is just words to hear ones own voice and to fill up space. Speaking connotates more of an idea of communicating ideas and thoughts of substance. So I stumbled over the first few sentences and struggled to gain my confidence, but when I got to certain parts, I was able to break away from my papers a bit more and just speak from my heart. It was cool.
The coolest part I think is when it was overe though. There are two reasons for this…
1) My pastor asked me to pray after I was done speaking as a lead in to worship time worship. How amazing was that. It was a little 45 second prayer and I relished in it. It was exhilirating.
2) I got a few awesome comments from folks after the service. Some from people I knew, others from folks I had never met before. One sticks out. It was the first one. A woman in her late 40s early 50s came up to me and said that she wished her daughter had been here to hear what I said. She told me that she was going through a divorce and it was hitting her daughter, a college freshman, pretty hard. She started to cry and then told me to tell all the young people my story. I thanked her for her compliment and tried to be compassionate, but I wish I had something worthwhile to say to her. She was obviously hurting quite a bit both for her own suffering and that of her daughter. If I had that interaction to do again, I think I would have responded differently. None the less, it was a very touching response.
Well, I guess that’s all for now. I am super tired and might try to shut my eyes for a little bit but I need to transfer my laundry to the dryer before that and then am headed to a friend’s place for dinner. I really need to get some school work and studying in but that just hasn’t happened. *sigh* I really want to finish the semester well…