What do you do when you are a single person who is a member of a church that is made up mostly of families who are older than you? Everyone’s living the American Dream with two kids, a dog, and a house with a two car garage. Something in my life has got to give. It seems to me that the few people that are in my life treat me more as an option than a priority. And if you are reading this and think you are one of those people, please know that I realize this is not just a ‘you’ thing. I am sure God is working through some stuff with me too. It’s just that, well, I spend way too much time alone and I don’t feel like it’s my doing. I have tried to be very proactive with the folks in my life but it just doesn’t seem to be panning out the way I envisioned. But then again, that’s life right? Relationships are hard, not easy. And each one of us has so much crap to sort through it makes it even harder. But I’m not sure what that means. Am I supposed to give up? I’m not a quitter, but I am sure tired of trying. I am sure some of this has to do with expectations but how do you not have those? Is it even possible? And if it is possible is it healthy?
I could go on but I don’t want to cry so I will change the subject.
I was finally able to finish up my Form 1 and I gave it to my Pastor today. I kinda figured that is what it was going to take to get things moving and that’s what seems to be happening. Anyway, they have it so I’m happy. I should probably lower my expectations a couple notches…not because I think others aren’t doing what they should but because maybe I have expectations that are too high. Maybe I get too excited about things. Maybe I need to force myself to be more calm, cool, and collective. Is this an identity issue or what?
I don’t have another topic to change to so I will just end this post. I think I’ll go read. How ’bout a Guide to the Book of Confessions. Really…I find it very interesting. Yeah…I’m a book nerd. That’s one thing I am actually okay with.